Saturday, June 17, 2006

Thankful for someone

Ever since baby j was an ity bity little person I have always been fascinated with him while he sleeps. He is so peaceful and all the terror, temper tantrums, scraped knees, toy throwing, hitting, and water splashing just seem to disappear. I have spent countless hours lying next to him watching him breathe. I would watch him sleep so peacefully and just thank the force that has given him to me. With his eyes closed and his steady breaths he is an angel. The perfect sound comes out of him every so often and my heart just melts. A sigh. That, my friends, is the most perfect sound.

He now cuddles with his Simba doll that sports his Mets T-shirt because it doesn’t fit him anymore. Every night I come into his room to adjust his blanket and make sure both of them are properly covered and centered on the bed. I push baby J’s hair back and give him a gentle kiss and tell him I love him. Lately he will talk in his sleep and say ‘Hi, mommy. What a doing?’ and I will just simply respond ‘Tucking you in and giving you a kiss, baby.’ He doesn’t open his eyes or get up. He will just turn over and go back to his good nights sleep.

This has to be the best part of my every day. I cannot go to sleep without this routine. Without saying a peaceful goodnight to my baby. This is a moment that makes you forget how difficult it is to be a parent. How exhausted you are every day. It just makes you feel love that you just never thought you could feel.

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Reasoning with a 2 year old

I think I may start a category just for tantrums. I am sure I would have more of those than anything these days. Today’s was about independence. I went in to get Baby J out of bed and to start his day. We had to get going and get dressed so we can eat and go to class this morning. He was in a good mood and was playing in the mirror. So while he was making funny faces I figured I would drop his sleeping shorts and get the diaper off as quick as I could since getting him undressed and dressed is becoming a continuous battle. As the shorts hit the floor it was like I flashed his ex-girlfriend that had never seen his parts. Immediately, and as I am ripping his pee-soaked diaper off, he lifts his shorts up. He is holding it high by his stomach but the back end hasn’t passed over his back end. So in his attempt to try to keep his dignity, he runs to the door to hide from me screaming that he wants his SHORTS ON. I don’t fight him and just try to reason with a two a year old. What was I thinking?

“You can keep your shorts on as long as I put on a clean diaper”
“No new diaper”
“Mommy doesn’t want you to pee-pee on the floor. We need to wear a new diaper”
“No pee-pee da foor”
“Honeybear, we have to wear a diaper to go eat our breakfast”
“I promise that you can wear your sleepy shorts…”
“Uh-oh!” {with a serious look on his face}
“Pee-pee on da foor, Mommay.”

Yup! There it was. He walked over to me and pointed to the wet spot he had created on his beautiful carpeting. He immediately let me put a diaper on after that. I guess it was either a diaper or I make him sit on the potty all day.

Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Breaking point

Baby J is at the front door kicking and screaming at the top of his lungs. I have dinner on the table and he is covered in whatever he has been playing with outside. Most likely a mixture of bubbles and dirt. All he wants to do is play with his friend that is still outside. The high-pitched squealing gets louder and louder. The tears stream down his bright red face. He tries to bang on the door as if it will magically open with his fists. Then he uses his feet. Somehow he gets a few words that sound like “play” “outside” “Allison”. We are not quite sure, but that’s the best we can do.

R is watching this display of emotion with me for many minutes. He looks at me square in the eye and says, “Thank God I get to go back to work tomorrow!”